Which character are you?

I admit, I love taking those quizzes in magazines:  Is your relationship solid?  Are you a summer or a winter?  What Twilight character are you?  (Rosalie, by the way; I’m vain and I think Bella’s annoying.)  So I thought I’d post one here.  It’s probably pretty insider-y, so I attached a few links as well.

Which Iliketheworldfuzzy character are you?

Have you ever read the little blind girl’s posts and wondered, where do I fit in?  Am I a whistling marmoset?  Am I a curly-haired friend?  Well, now you can find out.  Just answer the questions and tally your score:

A.  When confronted with an unfriendly storekeeper, you:

  1. Leave in a huff
  2. Make conversation until the storekeeper gives you a discount to get you to leave
  3. Plot elaborate revenge
  4. Crack jokes until the storekeeper finally smiles and agrees to go on a date
  5. Grin sexily and murmur, “Don’t worry, I was just leaving”

B.  When playing trivial pursuit, you have the most problems with:

  1. Science and nature; you’re better with stories and pop culture references
  2. Arts and entertainment; you’re just not down with the kids today
  3. History; you always remember things happening the way you would have done them
  4. People and places; you’re good with football games and museums, but you couldn’t answer a question about Central America if someone held a gun to your head–which, if they’re from Central America, they might…
  5. All of them; whatever answer you give, the question card just melts from your hotness

C.  When you sit down to blog, you:

  1. Spend an hour reading other peoples’ blogs searching desperately for inspiration and wishing yours could be as good as theirs
  2. Don’t.  You’re too afraid you’ll get one of those virus things.  You hear they’re nasty, and who has time for the doctor these days?
  3. Always make sure you’re well-stocked with Red Bull
  4. Make sure that whatever you write about will put others at ease and make them feel good about themselves
  5. Have to make sure you step back from the reflection of your blinding hotness in the computer screen

D.  Your favorite date night activity is:

  1. Anything where you can wear flats
  2. Dating?  No one could pay you enough to go back on that scene
  3. The same thing you do every night:  try to take over the world
  4. Attending an exhibition on which someone has obviously worked very, very hard and mocking it mercilessly
  5. Jetting to France, where your sexiness has not yet been outlawed

E.  Your favorite pickup line is:

  1. Hi, my name is ___________.  What’s yours?
  2. When are we going to go somewhere and discuss the demise of Biggie Smalls?
  3. Mwa-ha-ha!  You cannot resist me!
  4. Hi, I’m cute, smart, funny and will eventually break your heart. Can I buy you a drink?
  5. My God, I’m sexy.  Haven’t you noticed?

Mostly 1’s:  You are the little blind girl!  You are straightforward, insecure, and love to hear yourself talk.  Since you have no idea what’s going on around you, your stories tend to be a little hard to follow, but you make up for it by telling a joke at every opportunity.

Mostly 2’s:  You are the Sainted Mother!  You may not be tops at the pop culture stuff, but you pull off the occasional stunner that will keep your children from getting too smug.  No storeowner is a match for your shopping skills, but these newfangled computer things sometimes make you worried.

Mostly 3’s:  You are the evil hamster!  Bent on world domination through blogging, you are rarely seen without a Red Bull and can be easily recognized by your megalomaniacal laugh and by the fact that you’re a hamster.

Mostly 4’s:  You are the Potential Boyfriend!  Devastatingly attractive, witty, and thoughtful, you can sweep any girl off her feet in a matter of minutes.  Beware of the dreaded blogger breakup, however, where your most intimate moments may be spread across the blogosphere for all to see.

Mostly 5’s:  You are Johnny Depp!  Pure sex appeal laced with brilliance and talent, women swoon for you and men grumble because they can’t just dismiss you as a pretty boy.  You have a restraining order against the little blind girl, yet strangely make a number of guest appearances on her blog.

So which one are you?  If you’re the Evil Hamster, I’m going to be worried.  Almost as worried as I was when I took the quiz and found out I was Johnny Depp.

Cold medicine and caffeine, or: look at all the pretty colors!

I came down with something nasty yesterday, and I was a bit out of it for a lot of the day.  Toward the evening, I started thinking, “Gosh, I haven’t posted anything on my blog today. I should post something.  All my lovely followers will be missing me!”  Did I mention I was a bit out of it?  I’d taken a fair amount of cold medicine, and as a result was even more unfit than usual to operate heavy machinery such as a computer.  Here’s me trying to post yesterday:

Little Blind Girl: (sitting at computer) I should post something.  What should I blog about? (enormous yawn) (lengthy pause) I should post something.  What should I blog about? (closes eyes) (falls asleep; wakes up) Why am I at the computer?  Oh; blog entry!  I should post something.  What should I blog about?

(LBG proceeds to spend the next fifteen minutes surfing the net for inspiration, eventually ending up on someone else’s blog, reading a post she’s already read.  After reading the same sentence three times, she shakes her head.)

LBG:  This isn’t going to work.  I know; I’ll drink some Red Bull!  Maybe then I’ll be able to think of a topic for my next post.

Half an hour later:

LBG:  You know, I’m really not feeling any effects.  I think I’ll drink another.

Fifteen minutes later:

LBG:  Oh, my God, this is going to be the most awesome post ever!  I’m, like, a total genius.  I should post about fish!  Fish are so cool!  I had a fish once…hey, that song I like is on the radio…(gets up and dances)

Fifteen minutes later:

LBG:  I love my blog!  (sings to self) I’m going to post to my blog now, going to post to my blog!  But first I’m going on Facebook–oh, man, all my friends are available for chat!  I’m going to chat to all my friends at the same time!  That’ll be awesome!

Thirty minutes later:

LBG:  I feel fantastic!  Why didn’t I think of drinking Red Bull earlier?  I bet Red Bull could cure cancer!  All right, time to post to my blog.  Oh, man, my floor is disgusting!  I should clean it…I’m going to clean it right now!  God, I rock!

Twenty minutes later:

LBG:  Where did I leave the mop?  Oh, well, I am totally going to write a blog post, now.  I’m going to write it about…shoes!  I love shoes!  Or socks!  Or kumquats….ooh, I haven’t seen this movie in a while.  Let me just pop it in.

Two hours later:

LBG:  Wow, that Red Bull is really (yawn) wearing off.  Come to think of it, so is my cold medicine.  I don’t feel very good.  I should probably redose.  Where did I put my medicine? (After twenty minutes of searching) Here it is!  I wonder why I put it by the computer?  Oh, well.  Here goes!

Within half an hour, I was asleep.  Sorry, peeps, but I’m pretty sure I spared you an enthusiastic but completely incomprehensible blog entry, especially since when I woke up the next time, my first thought was “Why is all my underwear on my coffee table?”  And this, friends, is why cold medicine and Red Bull should never mix.  Interestingly, I’ve been nominated for an award.  More on that when I’m sure I’m not going to pull a Sally Field.