Does going to a Richard Marx concert hurt my street cred?

Dirty Dancing (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A while ago, I posted about my friend who mysteriously got engaged.  Well, during my hiatus, she got married, and I was there for her bachelorette party the night before.  Now, for those of you who are under thirty, you probably have quite a different picture in your heads when I say “bachelorette party”.  What actually happened was that we rented a hotel room and some eighties movies, drank beer, and gossiped while watching Dirty Dancing.  We’re wild women and cannot be tamed.

At the time, I had been on a Richard Marx kick for about a week.  I don’t remember what started it, but I was seriously rediscovering his work leading up to the party.  This isn’t a tangent, and here’s why:

Little Blind Girl:  (squints at screen) I haven’t seen this movie in forever.  Come to think of it, I think the last time I watched it, I could actually see the screen.

Mysteriously Engaged Friend:  D*mn, I didn’t realize this movie was that old!

LBG:  (hits Mysteriously Engaged Friend with pillow)

Non-engaged Friend 1:  Poor Patrick Swayze.  He looks so young.

Non-engaged Friend 2:  Dude could really dance.  Look at him!  And the hot blonde chick who plays the dance instructor, too.  Say what you want, the people in this movie had serious skills.

LBG:  If you say anything along the lines of “Not like in the dance movies the kids watch these days”, the next pillow is coming at you.

MEF:  You know, I think the blonde chick got married to Richard Marx.

LBG:  Seriously?  I’ve been listening to his music for, like, a week solid.  That’s so weird!

NEF 1:  That you’ve been listening to Richard Marx?  Yeah, that is weird!

LBG:  (hits NEF 1 with pillow)

NEF 2:  I wonder if they’re still married.

NEF 1:  Does anyone have internet access?  We could look it up online.

MEF:  (guiltily) I’m already online.

LBG:  Really?  Now?  What site are you on?

MEF:  Second Life.


NEF 2:  You’re playing a character in a fictional online world during your bachelorette party the night before you get married?

MEF:  Yes.

NEF 1:  LBG, you’re officially off the hook as lamest person here.

LBG:  I knew we should have gone with strippers.

Richard Marx (album)

Richard Marx (album) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And that’s how the eighties kids roll.  FYI, we did look up the hot blonde chick who played the dance instructor, and she is still married to Richard Marx and they’ve stayed together for approximately ever, which I think was a good omen right before a wedding.  Ever since then, I’ve had a soft spot in my heart for Richard Marx, and I’m going to see him in concert in December with Non-engaged Friend 1.  I’m pretty sure this is going to destroy any street cred I’ve gathered with my professed love for Nirvana and John Lennon, but I don’t care.  His music makes me smile.  Plus, I had my first slow dance to one of his songs.  When it was first released.  I played it over and over until the cassette tape broke.  The first reader who makes a snarky comment about any of this gets an online pillow attack!

Which character are you?

I admit, I love taking those quizzes in magazines:  Is your relationship solid?  Are you a summer or a winter?  What Twilight character are you?  (Rosalie, by the way; I’m vain and I think Bella’s annoying.)  So I thought I’d post one here.  It’s probably pretty insider-y, so I attached a few links as well.

Which Iliketheworldfuzzy character are you?

Have you ever read the little blind girl’s posts and wondered, where do I fit in?  Am I a whistling marmoset?  Am I a curly-haired friend?  Well, now you can find out.  Just answer the questions and tally your score:

A.  When confronted with an unfriendly storekeeper, you:

  1. Leave in a huff
  2. Make conversation until the storekeeper gives you a discount to get you to leave
  3. Plot elaborate revenge
  4. Crack jokes until the storekeeper finally smiles and agrees to go on a date
  5. Grin sexily and murmur, “Don’t worry, I was just leaving”

B.  When playing trivial pursuit, you have the most problems with:

  1. Science and nature; you’re better with stories and pop culture references
  2. Arts and entertainment; you’re just not down with the kids today
  3. History; you always remember things happening the way you would have done them
  4. People and places; you’re good with football games and museums, but you couldn’t answer a question about Central America if someone held a gun to your head–which, if they’re from Central America, they might…
  5. All of them; whatever answer you give, the question card just melts from your hotness

C.  When you sit down to blog, you:

  1. Spend an hour reading other peoples’ blogs searching desperately for inspiration and wishing yours could be as good as theirs
  2. Don’t.  You’re too afraid you’ll get one of those virus things.  You hear they’re nasty, and who has time for the doctor these days?
  3. Always make sure you’re well-stocked with Red Bull
  4. Make sure that whatever you write about will put others at ease and make them feel good about themselves
  5. Have to make sure you step back from the reflection of your blinding hotness in the computer screen

D.  Your favorite date night activity is:

  1. Anything where you can wear flats
  2. Dating?  No one could pay you enough to go back on that scene
  3. The same thing you do every night:  try to take over the world
  4. Attending an exhibition on which someone has obviously worked very, very hard and mocking it mercilessly
  5. Jetting to France, where your sexiness has not yet been outlawed

E.  Your favorite pickup line is:

  1. Hi, my name is ___________.  What’s yours?
  2. When are we going to go somewhere and discuss the demise of Biggie Smalls?
  3. Mwa-ha-ha!  You cannot resist me!
  4. Hi, I’m cute, smart, funny and will eventually break your heart. Can I buy you a drink?
  5. My God, I’m sexy.  Haven’t you noticed?

Mostly 1’s:  You are the little blind girl!  You are straightforward, insecure, and love to hear yourself talk.  Since you have no idea what’s going on around you, your stories tend to be a little hard to follow, but you make up for it by telling a joke at every opportunity.

Mostly 2’s:  You are the Sainted Mother!  You may not be tops at the pop culture stuff, but you pull off the occasional stunner that will keep your children from getting too smug.  No storeowner is a match for your shopping skills, but these newfangled computer things sometimes make you worried.

Mostly 3’s:  You are the evil hamster!  Bent on world domination through blogging, you are rarely seen without a Red Bull and can be easily recognized by your megalomaniacal laugh and by the fact that you’re a hamster.

Mostly 4’s:  You are the Potential Boyfriend!  Devastatingly attractive, witty, and thoughtful, you can sweep any girl off her feet in a matter of minutes.  Beware of the dreaded blogger breakup, however, where your most intimate moments may be spread across the blogosphere for all to see.

Mostly 5’s:  You are Johnny Depp!  Pure sex appeal laced with brilliance and talent, women swoon for you and men grumble because they can’t just dismiss you as a pretty boy.  You have a restraining order against the little blind girl, yet strangely make a number of guest appearances on her blog.

So which one are you?  If you’re the Evil Hamster, I’m going to be worried.  Almost as worried as I was when I took the quiz and found out I was Johnny Depp.

Oh, my sainted mother!

Trivial Pursuit

Image via Wikipedia

One Christmas, my sister and I were playing Trivial Pursuit with our mother.  Our sainted mother is many things:  intelligent, talented, brave, funny.  But even she would admit that she’s not hip.  She’s not with it, street-wise, down with the kids.  She got all the science and literature questions, but the pop culture questions were proving to be her undoing.

So when she came to the question, “What East Coast rapper was killed as a result of a drive-by shooting in Los Angeles in 1997?”, Big Sis and I both just assumed she wouldn’t know it and moved on to the next turn.  Sainted Mother stopped us and said, “Hey, give me a chance.  I might know it.”  We assured her that she had no chance of getting it right, but she insisted that she wanted at least to try.

So we asked her, and she said, “Oh, is that that Biggie Smalls person?”


Sainted Mother, we will never doubt you again.