I came down with something nasty yesterday, and I was a bit out of it for a lot of the day. Toward the evening, I started thinking, “Gosh, I haven’t posted anything on my blog today. I should post something. All my lovely followers will be missing me!” Did I mention I was a bit out of it? I’d taken a fair amount of cold medicine, and as a result was even more unfit than usual to operate heavy machinery such as a computer. Here’s me trying to post yesterday:
Little Blind Girl: (sitting at computer) I should post something. What should I blog about? (enormous yawn) (lengthy pause) I should post something. What should I blog about? (closes eyes) (falls asleep; wakes up) Why am I at the computer? Oh; blog entry! I should post something. What should I blog about?
(LBG proceeds to spend the next fifteen minutes surfing the net for inspiration, eventually ending up on someone else’s blog, reading a post she’s already read. After reading the same sentence three times, she shakes her head.)
LBG: This isn’t going to work. I know; I’ll drink some Red Bull! Maybe then I’ll be able to think of a topic for my next post.
Half an hour later:
LBG: You know, I’m really not feeling any effects. I think I’ll drink another.
Fifteen minutes later:
LBG: Oh, my God, this is going to be the most awesome post ever! I’m, like, a total genius. I should post about fish! Fish are so cool! I had a fish once…hey, that song I like is on the radio…(gets up and dances)
Fifteen minutes later:
LBG: I love my blog! (sings to self) I’m going to post to my blog now, going to post to my blog! But first I’m going on Facebook–oh, man, all my friends are available for chat! I’m going to chat to all my friends at the same time! That’ll be awesome!
Thirty minutes later:
LBG: I feel fantastic! Why didn’t I think of drinking Red Bull earlier? I bet Red Bull could cure cancer! All right, time to post to my blog. Oh, man, my floor is disgusting! I should clean it…I’m going to clean it right now! God, I rock!
Twenty minutes later:
LBG: Where did I leave the mop? Oh, well, I am totally going to write a blog post, now. I’m going to write it about…shoes! I love shoes! Or socks! Or kumquats….ooh, I haven’t seen this movie in a while. Let me just pop it in.
Two hours later:
LBG: Wow, that Red Bull is really (yawn) wearing off. Come to think of it, so is my cold medicine. I don’t feel very good. I should probably redose. Where did I put my medicine? (After twenty minutes of searching) Here it is! I wonder why I put it by the computer? Oh, well. Here goes!
Within half an hour, I was asleep. Sorry, peeps, but I’m pretty sure I spared you an enthusiastic but completely incomprehensible blog entry, especially since when I woke up the next time, my first thought was “Why is all my underwear on my coffee table?” And this, friends, is why cold medicine and Red Bull should never mix. Interestingly, I’ve been nominated for an award. More on that when I’m sure I’m not going to pull a Sally Field.