In my continuing quest for adventures that accommodate a screen reader (for those who didn’t catch the name of this blog, the blog subtitle, my username, or my avatar, I can’t see very well), I’ve recently begun to be active on Twitter. I’m still learning my way around while pondering the revolving questions of why someone stopped following me and also why anyone follows me in the first place–hey, wait, don’t get mad and un-follow me! I like it! I just don’t understand it. I also don’t understand Ozzy Osbourne, but I still like Black Sabbath.
Moving on, before I drive away any more followers: I really just wanted to post some Before and After pictures of my burgeoning Twitter addiction, sort of like those pictures of healthy vs. diseased lungs that people show you to make you stop smoking, or those “this is your brain on drugs” commercials. I anticipate that this blog post will have a similar success rate. So, kids, before you pick up that smart phone (the first tweet’s always free), remember my tale of woe. Before I let Twitter take control, this was my life:
Now, this is my life on Twitter:
That last image is specifically of me from when I accidentally tweeted a celebrity and I couldn’t understand why I suddenly had fifty notifications that people I’d never met had liked tweets essentially calling me an idiot. My friend Chuck drew it to cheer me up, and I paid him back with that post about clowns (a high price, but Twitter habits aren’t cheap).
Please, learn from my example. I know you think you’ve got it under control–a few tweets a day, with friends, just for fun; you can stop any time you like. But it doesn’t take long before you’re waking up in the middle of the night jonesing to check your Twitter feed; then you start losing followers and can’t remember how. After that it’s just a matter of time before you’re recklessly retweeting memes and wondering why your mother blocked your account (hint: it may have something to do with all the memes).
Actually, in all seriousness, it’s turning out to be a lot of fun, but I do advise tweeting responsibly. When it’s 3 a.m. and you’ve had a few drinks, it’s going to seem like a good idea to tweet your ex-BF’s new girlfriend “just to warn her.” It’s not. Trust me on this, for I am now an expert on all things Twitter (I am not an expert on all things Twitter). Also, stop tweet-stalking your ex-BF. That’s just rude, and I’m definitely an expert on being rude!