What are my plans for the holidays, you ask?

We kept wondering why they wouldn’t let us in!  Special shout out to my Sainted Mother, who’s deaf in one ear.  She’s half deaf and I’m half blind.  We’re awesome together!  “What’s that over there?”  “What?”  “That over there!”  “The cat has hair?”  We’re thinking of taking the act on the road.  Remember to tip your waitresses!  We’ll be here all night.