I’ve become something of a connoisseur of pick-up lines. I thought I’d get my good friend Johnny Depp to help me present my top ten favorite pick-up lines for your entertainment:
10. Johnny’s always so polite:
9. Oh, Johnny, you can have my number any time:
8. I love this one. You win either way:
7. Actually shouted out of a window at a friend once, though sadly not by Johnny Depp:
6. Best used earlier in the evening, as slurring will lessen the impact:
5. Works surprisingly often, especially when you look like this:
4. A classic for a reason:
3. This one depends heavily on delivery:
2. This one may be apocryphal:
1. My all-time favorite:
Many thanks to Johnny Depp for helping me with this post. May your box office returns ever increase. I leave you now with a highly requested image: I’ve been asked what I actually look like, so I’m posting a picture of me writing this blog. Enjoy!