Two friends (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I was talking with some friends the other day. We hadn’t spoken in a while, and we were comparing all the exciting developments in our lives. Friend #1, a gorgeous blonde who compounds the offense by being both smart and nice, says “I just gave birth to my third child!” This after posting a picture of herself on Facebook with said child while wearing a sheath dress and sporting a perfect tan. Hate her. No, I don’t.
Friend #2, a sexy dark-eyed brunette with lips people go through multiple painful surgeries to emulate, says “I just got promoted! I’m now running the company I started working for when we graduated from school!” I have her Christmas card in my apartment. It has a picture of her with her huge, loving, crazy, amazing family all mugging cheerfully for the camera while seated around a truly fantastic-looking dinner table. Hate her. No, I don’t. She sends me cookies.
Friend #3, another brunette with incredible light eyes that show up like stars against her dark skin, confides “It’s been four years since I was widowed. I thought I would never love again, but I’ve found someone wonderful, and we’re getting married this fall! It’s been a kind of miracle, the kids love him just as much as I do. I’m so glad they’ll have a father-figure they really care about.” Can’t hate her. Really happy for her.
So then they all ask me what’s been going on in my life. And there’s just nothing. I’ve been scrounging around in my brain during the entire conversation, trying to come up with something, and I’ve got nothing. What do I do? Make something up? Tell them about how I read the Hunger Games trilogy in one day? I’m on the spot, and having a bad hair day to boot, and I blurt out “My blog got Freshly Pressed!” Crickets. Well-meaning, supportive crickets, but crickets nevertheless. Finally, Friend #1 (and this is why I can’t hate her) says “That’s great that you’re still keeping a blog, honey! I’ve always thought that’s so brave.”
And I thought: That’s it, I’m going skydiving!
iliketheworldfuzzy.com 
Loved the delivery, the way you have written this post…
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This is how I see the world, through comedy-colored glasses!
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Jumping out of a perfectly good airplane to take a chance that some idiot has packed your parachute correctly and that you won’t come down in high tension lines has always seemed a bit strange to me, although to be fair I think bunge jumping is even stranger. Dangling on the end of a rubber band doesn’t do anything for me. Now jet ski boats or snowmobiles … that’s different.
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But look at my competition! Jet skis just won’t beat out childbirth. It has to be something that carries a genuine risk of death.
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Why don’t my post take the lst time!
So, I’ll try again.
I can’t picture you (THE LBG) jumping out of an airplane. You threw a tizzy when we started on an ATV ride. And, you insisted that we return to camp ASAP. Then again, I was driving, and I do have a reputation of being “bold”. But, ATV vs. jumping out of a plane. Really, I’m not that dangerous. Well, maybe.
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It’s more because I’m trying to adjust and refocus my eyesight from second to second on an ATV. I have the theory that, if I jump out of a plane, I can just go with it! Actually, I guess I’d kind of have to…
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ATV with me driving vs. jumping out of an airplane. Forgive me for taking this personaly. Maybe next time I should let you drive.
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Omgsh I totally get you. My life is pretty uneventful while I have two friends who are getting married and a cousin who is insanely happily married. Me? I got officially divorced recently and the thought of love makes me nauseous. LOL You’re not the only one, dear. But you know what? The way you write your blogs, your outlook on things, you’re awesome! Thats why I’m following your blogs, cuz in this hostile world, I need something to make me laugh and your blogs do that for me. So it’s all a matter of opinion. 🙂
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THE LBG is indeed awesome.
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Ha! I don’t know about that. I’ve got some pretty awesome friends to live up to. But do any of them keep blogs? No, no they don’t. Well, actually, several do. Oh, well! Thanks for following the blog. I hope you like what you read!
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I loved this post. Actually started my day reading this on my mail..! It is HILARIOUS! 😀
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Man, you started your day with ME? Ha, eat my dust, Wall Street Journal!
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…yup and the day turned out to be a good one 😉
Now beginning my day with your new post.. the QUIZ 😀
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Greetings! LOVE this post as it helps me understand why at times, my friends act in certain ways. How timely of your blog. I guess I never thought of it from multiple perspectives. Thanks for cooling my coals into happy lumps instead.
And uh, your blog is totally AWESOME. It means you’re a writer. Yup, that’s right, Abigail Thomas says it in Thinking About Memoir. YOU are a writer. Take that friends #1, 2, and 3! Ha!
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Wow, thank you! Glad I could cool your coals. I think it’s in the friendship contract that we have to be aggravating at times. It’s a sacred duty of friends!
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LMAO… I was at a luncheon the other day and ended up sitting next to my Chief. Trying to make conversation, he asked me “so what’s new with your family?” Now, I have a great family and there’s always something going on, but I completely blanked out. Nothing. Nada. Finally came up with something un-lame and kept going, but for a few seconds there I was being sucked into a black hole in the universe. That’s why I write, because I absolutely suck at conversation. Oh, and yes, your blog is awesome. That’s why I follow it.
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Thank you! Yeah, I sometimes feel like I should carry around index cards with talking points for situations like that. I can never think of something interesting to say.
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LOL… great idea!
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Love it! I feel like this quite a bit. It used to upset me, but then I braced my boringness. This post made me laugh out loud. Thanks!
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Glad you liked it! I figure if we manage to be boring only 90 percent of the time, we’re probably ahead of the curve.
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I liked this post. I have times I feel like that myself. Hopefully it’ll all fall in place for you – without you falling from a plane!
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I don’t know, I’m kind of intrigued now, I think I might just have to do it!
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This is your mother speaking. You will NOT fall out of a plane. That is all.
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Aw, Mom!
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I adore your sense of humor. Don’t we all have persons we hate/not really? Your talent is writing and making people smile. And that’s better than a jump out of a plane door any day of the week.
Happy Pages,
CricketMuse
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Thanks! It’s nice to rank somewhere above jumping out of a plane door.
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Yes, I would you should consider your worth before doing so. It’s a long way down I hear… 🙂
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Keep your feet on the ground LBG and let your sense of humour soar instead…. oh and everyone always thinks everyone else is having a great time…it’s a human failing !
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I’m pretty sure my friends really are having a great (if sleep-deprived) time! I’m glad they are. They mean the world to me!
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Thanks for this! Very funny and glad to know I’m not the only one 😉
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It’s the Grr-Grr Sisterhood!
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I swear Ive had this exact convo with a good friend.
http://trustbelievefaithhopelove.wordpress.com/
We came up with 2 conclusions. I either needed a “token fat friend” that I could hang out with, then ultimately hate myself for abusing said person, or my current route admit it, Im fabulous – I have to be, every freaking person in my life is gorgeous, fabulous, amazing and totally has their sh*t together… Then again… I have a blog
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Yeah! They may have perfect hair, skin, smiles, families, careers, etc., but do they have blogs???
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