How I write for my blog

Deutsch: Der Denker durch Auguste Rodin. Grubl...

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My legions of adoring fans often ask me, how do you write such incredible blog entries?  Well, two people have asked me what goes into keeping a blog.  So I thought I’d post a breakdown of how I spend my time while drafting a blog entry:

1.  Trying to think of hilarious ideas for blog post:  15 minutes

2.  Criticizing all ideas thought of as lame, boring, and/or ridiculous:  10 minutes

3.  Picking least lame/boring/ridiculous idea and beginning blog post:  3 minutes

 

4.  Drafting first half of blog post, thinking, “Actually, this isn’t half bad.  I’m really quite brilliant.  This is going to be hilarious!”:  20 minutes

5.  Finishing draft of blog post, thinking, “Good God, this was a suck idea.  What on earth possessed me to write about this?”:  15 minutes

6.  Saving draft of post just in case:  2 minutes

7.  Surfing other people’s sites for inspiration and becoming increasingly dispirited at how much better their blogs are than mine:  20 minutes

8.  Wandering off to get a snack and maybe watch some videos of frogs playing Itunes apps on YouTube by way of distracting myself from my inferiority:  30 minutes

9.  Playing Itunes apps on ipod and trying to beat frog’s high score:  15 minutes

10.  Reorganizing my shoes:  15 minutes

11.  Reluctantly returning to my blog and re-reading my blog post, thinking “Well, I doubt I’ll come up with anything better, so I might as well go with this”:  10 minutes

12.  Finding suitable image for blog by typing into Google such word combinations as “cat sock surgery” and “funny sunglasses restaurant”: 10 minutes

13.  Reviewing finished draft, looking up whether “alcohol-induced” has a hyphen (it does) and hesitating over whether I want to reveal to my readers my lack of talent once and for all:  15 minutes

14.  Publishing post:  1 minute

15.  Responding to comments and apologizing to people I’ve offended with said post and comment replies:  well into next day

So there you have it:  a typical blog post routine.  To those I’ve offended or will offend with my replies to comments, I apologize in advance in the hopes that I can save myself some time tomorrow, because I’m going to need it in order to think of another idea for the next post.  The blog, she is always hungry!

16 thoughts on “How I write for my blog

  1. How many shoes do you have to arrange? Arranging mine would take all of five seconds. My approach is 1) surf net until something fascinates me or tics me off, 2) link and comment vehemently then find a clever but often irrelevant picture to illustrate. Repeat as necessary while eating rice noodles.

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  2. Oh how I loved this post! So so well done. Entertaining and fun. What a terrific idea and you are wrong………yours is as good as, if not better, than most other blogger’s posts!

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  3. I like your style LBG! Much like my own, but instead of playing itunes froggy app I play farmtown on Facebook. Don’t listen to Ray…if guys had their way we would only have 2 pairs of boots. One to dance in and one to work in.

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  4. Hilarious as ever…it reminded me of when I was studying as a mature ( very! ) student and had an assignment to write .. I would do ANYTHING rather than start typing…my house was never tidier or cleaner than at those times.. ( I am normally a complete slut around the house!)

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    • Now that I think of it, my house has gotten steadily cleaner since I started this blog…if only I’d had it growing up! “Do your chores!” “Don’t wanna!” “OK then, write in your blog!” “All right, I’ll do my chores!”

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  5. My first thought upon reading your blog post was that it would take you far more than 15 minutes to rearrange your shoes!

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