Halloween, God’s favorite holiday


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Well, it’s my favorite holiday, anyway.  Grown-up halloween parties are almost as much fun as trick or treating; more alcohol, less candy, decent trade-off.  This year I went as a sorority girl.  I’ve been seeing them prancing around in their miniskirts and Ugg boots (why???), so I just went with it:  college hoodie, denim mini, cable-knit tights, fleece-lined boots, and a red solo cup.  Then I piled on the bronzer and blush and the really dark eye makeup and put my hair in a messy ponytail and voila!  World’s cheapest Halloween costume.  I already had everything but the hoodie, though never in quite that combination.  I looked dreadful–hilarious, but dreadful.

So I go downstairs to the lobby of my building to wait for my ride, and who should come along but a bunch of college guys who totally mistake me for a sorority girl.  They’re telling me about their plans and how much they’ve had to drink already, and explaining about this movie they saw in that patronizing way that guys think is charming.  You’d think the fact that my friend was standing beside me in full-on medieval queen garb and feathered mask would have clued them in to the fact that I was in costume, but like I said, they’d been pre-gaming.  So, yeah, thirty years old and I can still apparently pass for a student, at least to drunk frat guys.  Definitely my favorite holiday.  Now I just have to find and destroy all the photographs.  That skirt was a lot shorter than I remember it being.

3 thoughts on “Halloween, God’s favorite holiday

  1. It’s the closet. They do things while we’re sleeping. Bad things. The closets shrink our clothes. They shrink the waistline and the hemline. It’s appalling.


  2. Hey! Remember that TV ad about lysol spray disinfectant? The whole bus full of nudists on the charter bus to the beach. They get off and the bus driver changes the sign. Then YOU get on and sit — you get the point. Well, I hope you didn’t take any public transportation in that skirt!


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