Because I’ve had five migraines in the past two days and I’m not feeling very nice right now, and also because I love Shakespeare. Migraines, these e-cards are for you:
1. First migraine, lasted six and a half hours
2. Second migraine, woke me up from a dream in which I was a secretary for Johnny Cash, but he would only talk to me in song
3. Third migraine, had me seriously considering a DIY icepick lobotomy
4. Fourth migraine, I admit, made me its b*tch
5. Fifth migraine, took my joy, my dignity, and my will to live, mixed them in a blender with some ice cream and chocolate syrup, and drank them
I hope you enjoyed the results of my pain! Hang on, I feel another migraine coming on. Awesome. I’m gonna go not compare it to a summer’s day. Peace out, ye fat guts (Henry IV, Part 1. Sort of).