Quiz! Cryptic Text Messages and Possible Responses

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Image from http://soft9000.com, licensed by Creative Commons CC BY 3.0

Ever gotten one of those cryptic, completely context-free text messages that you can’t figure out for the life of you?   I’ve gotten what seems like more than my share, and it’s sometimes almost like a spy sign/countersign kind of thing–you know, one person says a secret phrase like “the rain falls sideways in Greenland,” and then you have to know the pre-arranged answer, like “but only in the morning” and then the first person knows you’re his contact.  Sadly, my life isn’t that cool, but it did give me an idea for another quiz:  I’ll give you some cryptic text messages (some of which are real and some of which I made up), and you choose from the possible responses and/or countersigns.  Whoever gives all the correct responses gets the secret plans.  Bonus points for the people who identify the Shadow reference!  Here we go:

A.  Text message:  “The time draws near.”  Possible responses:

  1. The antelope runs in the dark
  2. The chimney sweep draws the flue
  3. The lady doth protest too much
  4. Say what, now?

B.  Text message:  “The fourth time was not a good idea.”  Possible responses:

  1. The stars shine brightest in winter
  2. A footrace with a cobbler is futile
  3. The course of true love never did run smooth
  4. I told you to lay off the tequila!

C.  Text message:  “We went hopping for skittlebits.”  Possible responses:

  1. The kangaroos go hopping at midnight
  2. The sword of a samurai is ever sharp
  3. Neither a borrower nor a lender be
  4. You might want to turn off the autocorrect

D. Text message:  “The treatment has not been effective.”  Possible responses:

  1. The answer lies within
  2. The river must flow to the sea
  3. Thus the whirligig of time brings in his revenges
  4. Oh, man, what am I gonna tell my girlfriend?

E.  Text message:  “Call in the lawyers.”  Possible responses:

  1.  Send in the clowns
  2. The sun is shining, but the ice is slippery
  3. Cry ‘Havoc!’, and let slip the dogs of war
  4. Allow me to remind you of the prenup

So the next time you receive a text message and you can’t figure out what on earth it means, it might be a bad case of autocorrect, it might be your drunk roommate, or it might be the Little Blind Girl waiting for the countersign before she hands you the encrypted files.  Although, really, what would I be doing with encrypted files?  For that matter, why do you want me to give them to you?  Hey, what’s with the men in black suits–wait, no!  Where are you taking me??  It was just a blog post, I swear…

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