I need an eight ball to help me think of new blog post entries. I could do things like say to it, “Hey, Magic Eight Ball, what do you think about me blogging about Obama’s stance on birth control and abortion?” Then I would shake it and it would say “Outlook not so good.” Then I would get discouraged, but still rally and say, “Magic Eight Ball, what if I blogged about how Potential Boyfriend got in touch about this new girl he was thinking of asking out? I bet I could get a good blog post out of that!” And I would shake it and it would say “Better not tell you now.”
Then I’d get frustrated and say, “Well, then, what if I just pick a topic that involves celebrities at least peripherally? Those always seem to get high stats. I could just post a picture of Justin Bieber with a caption along the lines of ‘He says he’s just looking for a normal girl’ and have killer numbers.” Then I’d shake the magic eight ball, and it would say “Signs point to yes” and just like that, I’d have a blog post topic. Life would be so easy with a magic eight ball. I wouldn’t ever shake it and ask “Will I ever find happiness and a love that will last?” and have it answer “Don’t count on it.”
It’s been a long week. Let’s shake the magic eight ball and ask it if next week will be better. Wait for it…”Cannot predict now.” Yeah, it figures. Just when you need it, it craps out on you. One thing’s for certain: the Magic Eight Ball was designed by a man.
Magic Eight Ball, were you invented by a man? “You may rely on it.” Magic Eight Ball, should I believe the guy I went out on a date with when he says he only calls his ex-girlfriend because she’s going through a “difficult time”? “My sources say no.” Magic Eight Ball, it seems like the world is going to hell in a handbasket. Will things ever get better? “Reply hazy, try again.” Yes, this is a true predictor of the future. Forget crossing a gypsy’s palm with silver. Ask the Magic Eight Ball. It knows all. You just may not like the answers. But, hey, it did give me a blog topic. I can’t complain too much.