Free to good home: one Little Blind Girl, lightly used. This rare and exotic breed is known for its endearing clutziness, comically mis-matched clothing, and inconveniently good hearing. This particular Little Blind Girl is fully housebroken and ready for show. Her skills include running in four-inch heels, applying makeup with her eyes closed, and finding creative ways to reach the highest shelf. As with most Little Blind Girls, her diet consists primarily of raw foods, though this specimen has mastered the art of boiling an egg and has demonstrated prodigious skills with the microwave.
Prospective owners must demonstrate their ability to care for a Little Blind Girl, including extensive first-aid skills and the ability to get condiment stains out of dry-clean only clothing. All applicants must show proof of ownership of a high-end stereo system and be trained to handle the occasional tantrum when the Little Blind Girl gets a new toy but can’t read the assembly instructions written in 6-point font.
Little Blind Girls are well-known for their easy-going attitudes regarding what channel of television to watch, though they can develop attachments to certain actors if seen before their vision problems set in. This Little Blind Girl will insist on watching anything with Johnny Depp. Should a Pirates of the Caribbean marathon come on the air, do not attempt to get between the Little Blind Girl and the screen unless properly attired in protective gear. Simply supply her with popcorn and Milk Duds, check on her at commercial breaks, and wait for the marathon to end, at which point the Little Blind Girl will resume her normal behavior patterns. She is very loving and affectionate and would be a good addition to any home. Except one with small children, which she will not see and may possibly step on. Please leave a comment if interested.