It’s been a while since I did a quiz, so I thought I’d lay another one on you. Lately, I’ve been biting my tongue a lot and expending a lot of energy making myself do what I’m supposed to as opposed to what I want to do (example: what I want to do is watch all four Pirates of the Caribbean movies back to back. What I actually do is file my taxes). I think it’s taking its toll!
So here, gentle readers, is a quiz about some common situations with what I actually do in those situations, and you have to choose what you think I wanted to do! How well do you know your Little Blind Girl? Let’s find out:
A. The Little Blind Girl is walking home after work in the rain, being passed by car after car while trudging through every puddle on the sidewalk. One car deliberately drives close to the sidewalk and splashes through the water at the edge of the road, drenching the LBG. What the LBG does: sighs, shakes off the worst of the water, and keeps going. What does the LBG actually want to do in this situation?
- Whip out a bow and arrow like Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games) and take out the driver’s tires.
- Hotwire a nearby motorcycle, catch up to the driver, and run him off the road into a nearby stream.
- Get the license plate information, use mad computer skills to track down where the driver lives, jimmy open the car door at night with more mad skills, and dump a bucket of water on the driver’s seat.
- Take a picture of the car and driver, rent a billboard along that road, and post the picture on the billboard with a rude epithet that would make the LBG’s Sainted Mother blush.
- Report the driver to the police.
B. On the way out of her apartment, the LBG passes her neighbor’s miniscule dog, which is tethered to a post by its leash. As usual, the dog starts barking like crazy the minute it sees the LBG, attempting to break its restraints and eviscerate her as a suspected malefactor. What the LBG does: hisses at the dog like she’s a cat. What does the LBG actually want to do?
- See if she can kick the dog so hard that it starts flying around in a circle at the end of its leash.
- “Accidentally” let the dog loose…right near a major highway.
- Record the dog barking at top volume, put it on loop, and play it next to her neighbor’s bedroom window at 2 in the morning.
- Hang a raw steak just outside the dog’s reach right after the neighbor has gone for the day and left the dog alone.
- Dog stew.
C. The LBG receives a friend request on Facebook from someone she doesn’t know. Upon further investigation, it turns out that the person is her ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend. What the LBG does: pretends not to notice the request. What does the LBG actually want to do?
- Figure out if there’s a way to reject a friend request with extreme prejudice.
- Accept the request and obsessively check new girlfriend’s updates, friend list, pictures, etc. while eating Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream and crying to herself.
- Accept the request and Facebook-stalk ex-boyfriend through new girlfriend’s page, perhaps using the information to “just happen” to bump into him at that concert he posted about planning on going to, while “just happening” to look fabulous.
- Accept the request and get all her friends to post to her Facebook page about how fantastic her life is now that she’s finally rid of that crummy ex-boyfriend.
- Delete her Facebook account and join a convent.
D. The LBG is attempting to take care of some personal business. The person with whom she is dealing hands her a 22-page contract in eight point font, single-spaced, with half-inch margins and says, “Here, have a glance at this and then sign it.” What the LBG does: patiently explains that it’s not going to be possible for her to read it in its current format and requests a large-print version, taking secret satisfaction in the flummoxed expression on the man’s face. What does the LBG actually want to do?
- Smile sweetly and say, “My vision isn’t very good. Why don’t you read it to me?”
- Make him sit there while she reads every line and asks questions about every detail.
- Sign it as “Minnie Mouse.”
- Roll it up into a makeshift bat and hit the man over the head repeatedly with it, yelling “How do you like this, huh? Getting a little headache? Cause that’s how it makes me feel when I have to read crap like this! Use normal font!!!”
- Exactly what she did! Not that she’s at all passive-aggressive.
Here are the answers: A, 1. B, 5. C, 3. D, 4. Ha! You were totally thinking the answer to the last question was 5. I am passive-aggressive, but I have dreams of being just plain aggressive. So how well did you do? Do you know your LBG? Post your results in the comments and let me know!
I got 2 right!! C & D *claps for herself* 😀
LikeLike
Excellent! And D was a bit of a trick question, too. Nicely done! You know me well.
LikeLike
I was actually inserting an extra choice on all of them and selecting it every time. That choice was…wait for it…”all of the above”
LikeLike
It’s cheating for the LBG’s mother to take the quiz!!! And you’d totally be right there making dog stew with me. You know you would.
LikeLike
With fava beans and a nice chianti…
LikeLike
Great minds think alike because I was so thinking “all of the above” as well.
I got 1 and 4 correct. The quiz also made me realize that we’ve never discussed dogs.
LikeLike
As long as they don’t swear at me every time I walk by, dogs and I get along fine. I like dogs. I like them with ketchup and mustard…or fava beans and a nice chianti….
LikeLike
It was very hard to pick one because all those revenge tactics soundedall too tempting!!!! Thank you for the morning laugh, LBD! I’m so glad I stumbled upon your blog post! I don’t even read blog post, but we use WordPress for the English Writing class in school. School is not so boring after all! :)))
LikeLike
Glad I could help! Man, we were stuck reading Wuthering Heights and keeping daily freewriting journals. You have it good!
LikeLike
I have an awesome professor 🙂 But I’m taking English Literature next semester, so I’m not sure how that’s going to go down because the professor won’t be the same..
LikeLike
You got a friend request from your ex’s new girlfriend? Is it just me, or is that a bit weird? Your answer was great! Also, I loved your response to D. I think we should ALL start doing this.
LikeLike
It is a bit weird, isn’t it? I mean, I vaguely wish all my exes well and hope that they find love, but I don’t need to know the specifics.
LikeLike
How about banging you ex bf on the head repeatedly after taking out his tires and making a “new gf stew”? LOL I totally love your aggressive answers…I thought I was the only one who had fantasies about being aggressive! So I’m normal after all? hahaha Thanks for the laugh, I needed it 🙂
LikeLike
If we could see what goes on in each others’ heads, we’d all be horrified, yet hugely relieved, I think!
LikeLike
I only got one right. I will friend you on Facebook and stalk you daily until I can answer all the questions correctly.
LikeLike
That is the right and proper response. Congratulations! Sadly, I can’t say I’m really worth the obsession.
LikeLike
A–1; B–4; C–4; D–1 Those were my guesses. I’ve only been reading LBG’s blog for a short while, so I don’t know you very well, I guess. I think I picked what I would have wanted to do instead.
LikeLike
Fair enough! Pretty much all the options had at least some appeal for me. Just pick the most extreme, out-there response and that’ll be the most likely answer for me!
LikeLike
I think you just inspired a creative writing assignment for my next class. Do you usually carry a bow and arrow? Only wondering…
Blue Skies,
CricketMuse
LikeLike
Splash me while driving and you’ll find out! Good luck with the assignment. I’m flattered to be inspirational in any way!
LikeLike
I got all of them but the dog. I was betting on kicking it.
LikeLike
It’s a good guess; that option ran a close second!
LikeLike